Eyes on Fire
by DragonWyrd
Summary: She's the Butcher of Torfan for a reason.  Can the aging merc find a way to calm the beast inside her and perhaps learn a thing or two himself?
1. Prologue

_I'll seek you out, _  
><em>Filet you alive <em>  
><em>One more word and you won't survive <em>  
><em>And I'm not scared of your stolen power <em>  
><em>I see right through you any hour <em>

_I won't soothe your pain _  
><em>I won't ease your strain <em>  
><em>You'll be waiting in vain <em>  
><em>I got nothing for you to gain<em>

_~Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation~_

* * *

><p>So, you wanna know all about Commander Shepard, Butcher of Torfan, first human Spectre, savior of the Citadel, and the bitch who thought taking down Sovereign was more important than saving a bunch of whiny-assed council members? I'll tell you right now that my shit ain't pretty. You'll either love me or hate me when all this is done - there's no grey area in between.<p>

First off, I don't take shit - I dish it out. You fuck with me, I'll hit twice as hard and leave your head spinnin' in circles next to your fucking prone body. Secondly, you screw with my crew, starin' at the end of my gun is the least of your worries. I'll do shit to you that'll make you wish I'd killed you the moment I saw your face. Am I a tough bitch? Hell yeah! Psychotic? More'n likely. I get shit done, though, and that's all that matters.

How did I end up this way? Easy. You take a happy girl from Mindoir, who spent her summers with her family at their cabin in Minnesota hunting and fishing, and have her watch them and her friends either taken or slaughtered by a bunch of Batarian bastards. Mind you, that naïve little shit was also only 14 years old when the raid happened. That puts a rage into a person, a hatred, that can last lifetimes.

People like to say that an Alliance frigate found and rescued me. That's complete and utter bullshit. More like propaganda the assholes spewed out to make themselves look good, especially since they didn't get their hands on me until I was 19. I didn't join 'em out of a sense of duty or responsibility to the human race either. I was forced into joining and just bided my time within their ranks. To them they thought I was a happy little soldier who aced her special forces training - well until I pretty much sacrificed my team to take out as many of those four eyed bastards as I could when we landed on Torfan. Do I feel bad about sending a bunch of pansies off to their deaths? Fuck no!

Long story short - Eclipse mercs found me on Mindoir, not the Alliance. I earned my uniform before they even pulled me off the planet. One of 'em handed me a pistol and I shot the asshole who was gunnin' for me and the other mercs, shouting that they'd got here first and I was their prize. Hell no. I ain't no prize for some two-bit slave trader and never will be. An idiot turian on Purgatory learned that later on, but that's another story. They were impressed at how steady my hand was when I fired off that shot and the lack of emotion from a child who had just killed their first sentient being. Why the hell should I freak out over killing one of them when I saw them murder my parents right in front of my eyes?

My training began in earnest then. They found my hidden biotic talents and honed them into razor sharp skills. Hell, the Alliance doesn't even know about them - so in their files I was classified as a non-biotic with mass weapons knowledge. Then again, thanks to yet another betrayal, they thought I was a Blue Suns merc and they ain't well known for their biotic abilities. If they'd've known I was Eclipse, I'm sure poking and prodding would have ensued.

Basically, I'm a soldier with the talents of a Vanguard and an Infiltrator. Toss me any weapon and I can wield it with an uncanny precision. Piss me off and get too close and I'll body slam your ass, if I don't knock you and your friends over like fucking bowling pins first. Gotta love them shockwaves. Then again, that's also if you can find me - I can hide in plain sight, standing right in front of you, and you wouldn't even know it before the bullet hit you between your eyes. I can fry your ass too and damn the sounds of someone screaming as their flesh bubbles and cracks is ambrosia to my ears.

Yeah, I'm fucked in the head. I like it that way.

I was with the Eclipse for five years until an assignment I was on went wrong. My mark had no idea who I was or which band I belonged to - hell he had no idea I was even a merc. He tried to get me to join his happy little band of assholes and when I said no, he made me pay. Got a hold of the authorities, pinning me for a Blue Sun's job that went bad, and I was told I could either be jailed or join the Alliance. I chose the Alliance cuz I knew I'd have a chance at blowing away more Batarian assholes and they didn't disappoint.

I settled down a bit after Torfan. Got a good chunk of that rage outta my system, though it never truly goes away. Shit, I'm sure they even think, knowing my past, that I cleaned out that one solar system on purpose - never mind the fact that if I hadn't sent that damned asteroid into the mass relay, the Reapers would be on our asses right now. Hundreds of thousands of dead Batarians was just the icing on the cake, so to speak.

So yeah, there I was, hailed as the Butcher of Torfan when I get this call in telling me I've been chosen to be the XO of this new prototype frigate, the SSV Normandy SR1, under the leadership of Captain Anderson. I actually kind of liked the man. He and Hackett were a couple of the few who didn't take shit from me, but then again they didn't give me shit either. That was an interesting assignment, I shit you not. Most of the crew tiptoed around me like they expected me to blow someone's head off for looking at me wrong. Hey, I'm cracked, but I ain't _that_ bad.

Shit started getting weird after that. Saren kills the turian responsible to watch me and see if I'm Spectre material. Thanks to this sweet little quarian, Tali'Zorah, we prove that the Spectre has gone rogue and I basically take his place in the ranks. Not only that but I'm given the task of chasing his ass all over the damned universe and keeping him from finding this thing called a Conduit. Great. Babysitting duty for a rogue turian and his geth pets was not exactly what I had signed up for when I said I'd help the Council out.

Before we left the Citadel I had already amassed a strange group of companions to help me chase this jackass around. Truth be told, I liked the aliens a bit better than I did the human crew. Well, there was one that really shocked the hell outta me - Kaidan Alenko. Before I knew it, he had found some way to gently push past all my barriers and actually mean something to me. I swore to myself after the shit that happened on Mindoir, and then again with the ass who sold me out to the authorities, that no one would ever mean that much to me again. Kaidan proved me wrong. He took my scarred and battered heart and healed it. He soothed the savage beast inside me, if you wanna get all romantic 'n shit. I needed him and that's why I kept him around, saving him on Virmire. Even now, with all the crap that's happened, I don't regret my decision. All the pain and destruction in my past has made me into the crazy, fucked up bitch I am today, and that's what's gonna save the damned galaxy from the Reapers.

So, Sovereign's dead, the Council is dead, and we're out scouring the edges of the Terminus for pockets of geth and to figure out what the hell is causing ships to disappear. We're attacked, the Normandy is destroyed, but at least I got Joker out in time before I got spaced. See, he ended up like a brother to me. He didn't mind my prickly-assed attitude. He doesn't know the whole story - nobody does. Well, scratch that, one person does and he's the one half hangin' out of my bed right now, snorin' like nobody's fuckin' business. Nah, I ain't tellin' you who it is either. You'll find out in good time. That time just ain't now. Still, I did my job. I made sure as many people got out alive as possible, especially Joker, before I died. Ain't that the shit - I actually did something selfless for once - and it wasn't enough for karma not to bite me on the ass.

I tell you what, though. I was glad to die. All that anger, all that frustration, the pain, the hurt, all of it, gone. Just gone. I finally felt peace for the first time since I was 14. Even loving Kaidan as I did, and being loved in return, wasn't enough to fix everything completely. It helped for a while though.

Then Cerberus brought me back. I struggled against it, no doubt about it. Dumb shits had to sedate me, though, the one time I almost succeeded in waking up enough to try and overload my system so I could have that peace again. Of course, the next time I wake up, I'm fully functional and got too much of a need for self preservation to let the fucking mechs take me out. That and curiosity were enough for me to bust ass through that facility, taking down as many of those robotic bastards as possible.

Was I pissed that it was Cerberus who resurrected me? Not really. I didn't get as huge a bug up my ass about the organization as the others had. Shit, you live the life I had before I went into the service and Cerberus looks like just another merc organization, just better funded. Doesn't mean that I felt any loyalty to them though. So what if they spent billions of fucking credits to resurrect me? You can't buy me. I'll just stick with you as long as we have the same goals - the moment those change, bye bye birdie. I made sure the Illusive Man knew that. This wasn't the Alliance where I was forced to serve, this was something different and I'll be damned if he thought I'd just be led along like a puppy on a leash. Luckily, he got it. Even so, I didn't like the organization and I hated having Jacob and Miranda following me around like I needed a goddamned chaperone.

Freedom's Progress hit home for me. The difference being that there was no slaughter here that could be noticed like what happened on Mindoir - instead everyone was just _gone_. Seeing Tali again was the only bright spot of the whole ordeal, enough to shake me out of my need to check every fucking shadowy corner for a hidden Batarian. Joker and the SR2 were other little treats for me. I don't get sentimental often, but damn, seeing my bro again and, while it wasn't the same damned ship, the Normandy, was enough to get me a bit damp in the eyes. Unfortunately I think I broke a couple of his ribs when I hugged him, but luckily he didn't seem to mind.

We're back to flying the stars again - headed to Omega to pick up the first of many new recruits. Now that I know who the enemy is, these Collector bastards, they'd better watch their backs. I don't play nice with slavers.


	2. Chapter 1

"C'mon, ye daft bitch! If we don't head out to Zorya soon…" Zaeed began, cut off by a glare from the woman sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of him.

"Shut it, Massani. I know how badly you wanna go after Vido, but it'll have to wait. Before I go nest deep into a bunch of fucking Blue Suns mercs, I wanna make sure I've got more'n what I already have to take down those bastards. Garrus, no matter how much he says otherwise, ain't in any condition to go in there with us and Mordin would talk us both to death before we even got inside. I sure as hell don't want some Cerberus assholes at my back while I'm in there either. So we're gonna go and pick up that goddamned krogan and the biotic before we head out to take care of your little job, got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. Shit…" he grumbled, running his fingers through his short grey hair. He fixed his gaze over toward the surveillance monitor as there was something unsettling in her silver eyes as she looked at him, something that made his groin tighten quite uncomfortably.

"Besides, I'm waitin' on my new armor to be delivered. The crap Cerberus gave me to wear still looks too much like Alliance standard issue. Once it's on board, we're headin' off to the Citadel so I can get my fucking Spectre status reinstated, then it's off to grab the other two. I hope that biotic is all the dossier says because I don't wanna hafta bring Jacob or Miranda along when we take care of your job."

"New armor, eh? At least you're not wearin' that catsuit the cheerleader prefers. Doubt you'd make it off Zorya. Even if you're older than what he usually likes, I doubt Vido would let you out of his sight if you showed up in somethin' like that," Zaeed chuckled, returning his gaze to her face. He still couldn't figure out how someone with the reputation of the Butcher of Torfan happened to have such an angelic countenance. It sure as hell didn't fit with who he knew the woman to be.

Vali snorted in response, her eyes rolling as she looked up at the merc. Yanking her fingers through her long blue-black strands, she sighed and leaned back against the counter that held Zaeed's rifle, Jessie.

"You won't find me hangin' myself out to sway in the breeze, that's for sure," she smirked, clasping her hands against her knees as she pulled them up to her chest to keep from scratching at the itch beginning to form on her arms as the skin healed around her newly inked tattoos.

"By the way, whoever did the job on that ink ye got, damned good artist. Never woulda pegged an ex-Alliance bitch for sleeves though. Maybe a little one here 'n there that could be hidden easily by a uniform, but not the shit ye got there."

"I wasn't always Alliance. Just had them redo the shit I had before I got spaced. That kinda shit has a tendency to leave the ink really faded 'n I wanted it fixed."

"How'd you get away with that shit in the Alliance?" he asked.

"Omni-tool program 'n spray shit that was water 'n sweat resistant. Nobody knew of my tats other than a few who were there when I was first recruited."

"Bet the ink went over real well," he snickered.

"I didn't join by choice so the fuckers had t' deal as far as I was concerned. Told them no way in hell was I havin' them surgically removed so we found a compromise."

"So you're not an Alliance bitch because you wanted to be? You were forced to be?"

"Yeah, but that's a story for another day, Massani," Vali replied, stretching as she stood, her tank top raising enough to give him a glimpse of the hooded cobra tattoo entwined around her waist, the tail sliding down into interesting hidden territory.

"Hey, uh, Commander?" Joker's voice came in over the comm. system.

"Yeah, 'sup Joker?"

"Got some turian dude here saying he's got a delivery for you? Armor or some shit?"

"Comin' up. Been waitin' for that," she answered then turned to Massani. "Give me a week, two tops, and we'll head out to Zorya, all right?"

"Better not be fucking with me, Shepard," he replied, leaning back against the wall with his arms folded over his chest.

"I might be a psychotic bitch by some standards, but I don't fuck people over unless they deserve it and I sure as hell don't lie," she purred, turning her back to him as she exited the cargo hold. Zaeed shook his head as he watched her leave, his lips curved in a half smile.

"Damn, that bitch has got bigger quads than some krogans I know."

oOoOo

Vali made her way down the steps to the little hidey hole Jack had claimed for herself. Unlike some of the others on the ship, she could understand the woman's need to be away from basic foot traffic. Unfortunately, being the commander of Normandy, she didn't have the same fucking luxuries as the biotic they had picked up, but such was life.

"Shit, Shepard, what do you want?" the sweet sounds of Jack's bitchiness echoed throughout the small compartment.

"Need your help with a couple of things."

"Figured. Everybody always wants something. I saw the way your eyes were watching me earlier. Hoping to get fucked by the psychotic biotic?" she smirked.

"If I swung that way, maybe, but that's not what I'm down here for. One, the Illusive Man is forcing me to take a step off my schedule and head to this little human colony he thinks the Collectors are hitting. I need a top notch bitch to come with me and not a cheerleader watching my back."

"What else?"

"I need you to help me with a bit of a hair issue. I want the shit on the sides of my head buzzed off and it's hard as fuck to do it myself. Figured you were one of the few who wouldn't look at me sideways if I asked."

"Trying to be like me, Shepard?" Jack cackled.

"Fuck…" Vali chuckled. "Nahh, used to have my hair like that before I got roped into joinin' the Alliance. Easy enough to take care of once it's shaved, but startin' from square one is a bit difficult."

"Sit your ass down on the cot then. I'll see what I can do."

Vali plopped her butt down on the surprisingly comfortable mattress and hugged her knees to her chest, her eyes closing as she listened to the other woman rummaging through her belongings to grab an electric razor and comb.

"Y'know, Shepard, I thought you were gonna be some sort of stuck up bitch like that Miranda chick. Instead you seem to be as twisted 'n shit as I am. Nice surprise," Jack said as she kneeled behind Vali and began separating the woman's hair into three sections, twisting and securing the middle section on the top of her head.

"Yeah, it was a bit of a shock for the cheerleader and her little puppy dog, Jacob, when they realized I ain't some straight laced Alliance officer," she chuckled. "Burned them even more when they realized that I'm also not some pro-human shit that they expected from someone who let the old Council die a couple of years back."

"Fucking idiots. That's what they are. Say, nice tats. If you ever want any more, let me know. I got some skills in that area."

"Definitely," Vali let out a soft sigh of relief as she felt the long locks of hair being sheared off on each side of her head.

"Never would have pegged you for a Mohawk type, Shepard. By the way, we ever gonna get to see that new armor you had ordered a while back? Heard people talkin' about it but never seen you wear it," Jack commented.

"Been doin' some tweaking to it. Had to remove the catch-releases from the left arm since they included a second armored sleeve that I didn't need. At least the fuckers remembered the damned vambrace. Also messed with the other sleeve so I'd have a place to stash some extra clips if I needed 'em, which I usually do. Think it's ready now so I'll be usin' it for Horizon. I can already picture jaws droppin' when I wear it for the first time," Vali chuckled.

"You gonna need me to help you kick some ass from those who got a thing for the bad-girl type?" Jack grinned.

"With you at my back, nobody would fucking dare try 'n touch this. Shoot at it, maybe, but try 'n take it for a ride? Hell no. They'd know we'd rip 'em a new one."

Jack threw her head back and laughed. Tossing the razor down on the bed, she unclipped what was left of Vali's hair, letting the inky black curls fall down around the now bare sides, caressing the skin. Glancing around, Vali caught sight of a pair of scissors half under the cot and grabbed them up, then, taking a small section of her hair, proceeded to cut herself a set of bangs. She turned around and looked at Jack, grinning at the woman's wide eyed stare.

"So, bitch, what do ya think?"

"Damn, Shepard, if you were into girls, I'd so fuck you right now."

"One of these days, I might just let you," she shot back, earning yet another cackle from the biotic.

"Commander? ETA for Horizon is 15 minutes," Joker stated over the comm.

"Guess that's my cue to get armored up. Meet you down in the hold. Zaeed's coming with."

"That old bastard's got a thing for you. Damn if his eyes don't fucking pop out of his head when he gets a glimpse of the new you."

"This ought to be interesting, then. Especially since it seems my old lover is holed up on Horizon. He'll shit his pants when he sees this," Vali snickered, shooting off a wave to Jack as she jogged back up toward the elevator.

oOoOo

"_Goddamn_, Shepard! That the new armor?" Zaeed asked, both his and Jack's gazes glued to their Commander.

"You like?" Vali grinned at the two of them, doing a little twirl. Her armor fit like a second skin, the right arm covered by black metal plating that hooked onto the otherwise sleeveless vest of the same color. A vambrace covered her left arm from wrist to halfway up her forearm. Black leather pants hugged her muscular legs and a set of knee high steel-toe leather moccasin boots buckled up the side to complete the outfit.

"Fuck yeah! The hair goes perfectly with it too. Glad you had me touch it up for you," Jack replied, her mouth split wide in a grin.

"I'll be fucking lucky if I can keep my eye on our enemies," Zaeed muttered under his breath. Jack and Vali exchanged amused glances, though otherwise acted as if they hadn't heard the merc.

"Let's get the fuck outta here and get this shit over with. The sooner we're done, the quicker we can have Joker take us over to Zorya," Vali stated as she made herself comfortable inside the shuttle.

"You do realize that looking like you do, that jackass Vido will make things easy for me? His eyes will be focused on you instead of recognizing the threat standing in front of him," Zaeed grinned.

"Let's hope not. Sounds like it might be too easy of a kill then. Sometimes easy isn't as fun as doing things the hard way," Vali snickered.

"You like things hard, don't you, Shepard?" the merc asked.

"You have no idea, Massani," she purred in response, her silver eyes turning into molten pools of platinum as she looked at the scarred man sitting across from her.

"Damn, if you two are gonna fuck in here, can I watch?"

"Bitch has got a thing for some uptight Alliance dick. You won't catch us fucking, Jack," Massani retorted.

"It's been two years. Kaidan has probably moved on," she replied, propping her feet up on the seat across from her, a foot on either side of the merc's legs.

"Quit teasing, bitch, or you might end up with more than you can handle," Zaeed growled.

"I don't tease. If I want something, I fucking take it. Besides, if anything, it'll be you who can't handle me," Vali smirked.

"Hey, you think the pilot's got any popcorn? I think I want some with this interesting in-flight show," Jack piped up.

"Just you wait until we're finished on Zorya, Shepard. Just you wait…"

Vali grinned at Zaeed, flipping him off, then settled back into the seat as the Kodiak made its final preparations before landing just outside of the colony.

oOoOo

"Shepard. I know that name. Some sort of big Alliance hero? You sure don't look like one," the mechanic they had met earlier stated as he stared at the three people in front of him.

"Vali Shepard, Commander of the Normandy, first human Spectre, and savior of the Citadel. You're in the presence of a legend, Delan, and a ghost," Kaidan stated as he approached the group.

"Shit. Figures all the good ones get taken and you're the one who gets left behind. I'm done with you Alliance types," Delan muttered, stomping away from the group. Kaidan sighed at the mechanic then finally looked over in the direction of Vali and the others, his jaw dropping as he took in the new look of his old lover. Snapping his mouth shut, he walked forward and pulled her into his embrace.

"I thought you were dead, Vali. We all did," he whispered in her ear. She tightened her hold on him for a moment then stepped back to take a good, long look at Alenko.

"Kaidan. Good to see you again. Congrats on the promotion, by the way," she grinned.

"Wait a minute. That's all you have to say? You've been gone for two years and all I get is a 'good to see you again, Kaidan'? Why the hell haven't you contacted me? Do you have any idea what I've been through the past couple of years, thinking you dead? I thought we had something special, Shepard! I… I loved you! Do you even remember that night before Ilos?" he raved.

"Holy shit…" she sighed, running her fingers over the soft stubble on her head before sinking them into the soft curls of her long haired Mohawk. "You've got to be fucking kidding me! I _was_ dead, Kaidan! Two years of my life fucking gone until I woke up on a table in the middle of a goddamned Cerberus facility to find out that they had rebuilt me. You think it's easy knowing that I lost those years?"

"You're… you're with Cerberus now?" he asked, his eyes wide and voice incredulous. "How could you? You've gone against everything the Alliance has stood for, everything we believed in!" he growled, his eyes narrowed as he stalked toward her. Zaeed stepped up behind Vali and slid his arms around her waist, hooking his thumbs into the waistband of her pants as he glared at Alenko. Jack brought up her pistol and aimed it at the man, her eyes narrowed.

"Watch it, jackass," Massani snarled.

"You're with him, now, too?" Kaidan's voice was filled with disgust.

"I wasn't before now, but thanks to this little exchange, I just might see what he's got hidden under that armor of his," she snapped.

"I had dreamed that you might be alive, but this… this is just too much. We had reports that you were with Cerberus but I never believed… hell, I was stationed out here to see if it was _them_ behind the abducted colonists."

"Well you can see that it ain't them. Besides, I'm not with Cerberus, we just happen to have the same goals at the moment. By the way, did you recognize that fucking ship? Same kind that blew apart the Normandy, sweetheart. It's the Collectors I'm after, not snatching people up from their fucking homes."

"You've changed, Vali," he said softly as he began to back away from them.

"Nope, ain't changed a lick. Still the same bitch I was when I commanded the Normandy, just not hiding it anymore. Can't go through half the shit I have and come out of it completely sane, and I ain't."

"The hair, the piercings, the tattoos… hell, Cerberus? That's not the Vali I knew and loved. You've turned into a total bitch."

With a startling quickness, Vali unholstered her pistol, took aim, and fired. The resulting yell of pain as the bullet ripped through Kaidan's thigh was enough to curl her lips into a tight smile.

"There are only two people who are allowed to call me a bitch without retaliation and they're the ones you see here. You're lucky I didn't aim higher. As far as the piercings, hair, and tattoos? This is who I was before the Alliance got their grubby little hands on me."

"Holy shit!" he cried out, gripping his thigh as he watched her and the others head toward the Kodiak that landed nearby.

"By the way, Kaidan, that was a fuck you and the white steed you think you rode in on," she called out before closing the hatch. He watched with pain-filled eyes as they lifted off, tears coursing down his cheeks.

"Goddamn, Shepard, remind me never to piss you off," Zaeed muttered as they sped toward the Normandy.

"Same. Fucker deserved it though," Jack chimed in.

"Mmhmm," Vali replied as she stared out of the window at the stars flying past. "Once we're on board, get some rest. Next stop, Zorya."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: Just so y'all know, I actually have mad love for Kaidan though it might not show here. Please don't hate me too much for what Vali did - that's just her personality.<em>


	3. Chapter 2

"Damn, if this place wasn't overrun with Blue Suns, it could be a fucking tropical paradise," Vali stated as she hopped out of the Kodiak, Zaeed and Jack following close behind.

"Just keep an eye out and stay close. Let me tap into their communications and see what the bloody bastards are up to," Zaeed muttered as he fooled around on his omni tool.

"Squad Bravo, a shuttle just landed near your location - go check it out," someone ordered through the static-filled transmission.

"Stay tight and watch for ambushes," Massani stated.

"Eh, with the three of us, they don't stand a fucking chance," Jack grinned, her body thrumming with biotic energy, her mood one of excitement. Vali chuckled softly at the other woman's reaction, then with hand signals, motioned for them to move out. As the three of them crept through the overgrown path leading toward the refinery, Vali's nose began to twitch at the rancid smell that wafted toward her. Swallowing her gag reflex, she approached the pile of bodies at the bend of the dirt track, covering her nose and mouth with her free hand as she stared at the tangled mess.

"Shot in the back and left to rot. That's definitely Vido's style," Zaeed snarled. "Fucking jackass."

"Goddamn," Vali muttered, her voice muffled beneath her hand as she quickly sped away from the stench, her other hand still clenched around her pistol and her gaze vigilant. They took deep breaths the moment the air cleared.

"Command to Bravo. Secure the position. Likely these people are not runaways."

"Runaways? Shit. Guessin' that's who those people were back there," Vali sighed.

Between the three of them, they made short work of the mercs. Waving to the others to stay in cover, Vali shimmered out of sight and scouted out ahead, returning long enough to give the all-clear.

"All squads, fall back!" one of the Batarian mercs shouted over the comm.

"I was expecting a bit more resistance," she chuckled as they made their way toward the bridge. "Looks like his mercs have gone a bit soft."

"This is Commander Santiago. If any of you retreat while the intruders are still alive, I'll kill you myself!" they heard Vido shout over their shared comm. system. "Now get the hell back out there!"

"Vido. Sounds like he hasn't changed," Zaeed's voice was harsh.

"Sounds like he needs to get shot," Vali responded as she stopped the bridge mechanics, halting its progress as it hit the halfway mark.

"Glad to see you and I agree," Zaeed stated. "I knew he was a sadistic bastard back when we started the Blue Suns. He just got meaner when he staged his little coup twenty years ago. So yeah, we have a past, in case you were wonderin'."

"Let me guess - this isn't an actual job you took on but a mission of revenge?" she asked, then stopped at the realization of the merc's ties to the company across the way. Her eyes narrowed dangerously, her fingers flexing on the trigger of her pistol. "Wait a fucking minute, you started the Blue Suns? How the fuck did I not recognize that damned tattoo on your neck sooner?"

"Yeah, it's revenge, and yeah, I fucking co-founded them with that jackass. Goddamned bastard wiped me from the records the moment he took me out of the equation twenty years ago."

"Twenty years ago? Shit, I fucking hold grudges but damn, that's a long assed time to carry one around," Jack muttered from where she leaned up against the rail.

"Vido paid six of my men to hold me down while he put a gun to my head and pulled the fucking trigger. All because, even though I led the men and he ran the books, I had a fucking problem with him hiring on Batarians. Cheaper labor he said. Goddamned terrorists I said. For twenty years I've seen that bastard every time I closed my eyes, every time I sighted down a target, every time I heard a gunshot. Don't you call that a goddamned grudge," he snarled.

"Fuck, and here I thought what I'd dealt with was bad enough," Vali murmured to herself, earning curious glances from the other two. Shaking her head, she looked back up at Zaeed, her eyes a molten quicksilver from rage.

"So, you survived a gunshot to the head?" she asked, her hand reaching out to touch the scar on his cheek, but dropping before she actually touched it.

"Yeah, and you survived your ship getting disintegrated. A stubborn enough person can survive almost anything," he replied, his voice almost gentle. "Rage is a hell of an anesthetic."

"You can say that again," Vali sighed, turning back to reactivate the bridge control.

"They're at the southern access. All squads mass at the gatehouse, _now_!" they heard Santiago order.

"Bastard knows we're coming," Zaeed muttered.

"Yeah, but he doesn't know what's really coming for him," she stated, earning a nod from Jack.

"Got that fucking right. We're gonna blow that little asshole into bloody chunks," the biotic grinned.

"Bring it on, you son of a bitch!" Zaeed shouted as the three of them continued on toward the gatehouse. Vali looked back at him and grinned.

"This is gonna be fun, I shit you not," she said as they approached the door. Motioning the two of them forward, she tapped in a command in her omni-tool, cloaking herself so that Zaeed was the first one Vido would notice.

"Zaeed Massani," Vido smirked as they walked into the building. "You finally tracked me down."

"Vido," Zaeed growled, grabbing his rifle.

"Don't be stupid, Massani. I have a group of bloodthirsty bastards behind me ready to kill, or be killed, at my command."

"Yeah, but he has me," Vali replied, her body shimmering into view, arms crossed over her chest.

"S-Selene?" Vido stared at her in shock, his eyes seeming to drink her in.

"In the flesh, but it's Commander Vali Selene Shepard now, you filthy bastard."

"Shit, you're not still pissed about that, are you? It was just business! You understand, don't you, sweetheart?"

Vali quirked an eyebrow as she looked at the merc, her eyes frosting over as she watched him.

"Damn, you're just as bad at holding grudges as Massani over here. You know what, Zaeed? Go ahead and take that shot. Let my men put you down like the mad dog you are... again."

As the attention turned back to him, Zaeed pulled the trigger, puncturing holes into the steam vents and releasing the gas fumes trapped within.

"What was that? Gone nearsighted, old friend?" Vido laughed.

"Burn, you sonuvabitch," Zaeed muttered, spraying the area with bullets again, widening the hole and causing the upper level to explode in flames.

"You just signed your death warrant, Massani," the merc growled, limping off to let his men finish the job. Vali watched as Zaeed dodged the bullets raining down on them, running over to a nearby valve and trying to loosen it with the butt of his rifle.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Opening the gate," Zaeed replied, the moment the valve loosened and the entire building shook with the explosions that rocked the area.

"For fuck's sake, warn me next time! Getting blown to itsy bitsies a second time around is not on my goddamned agenda!" Vali snapped.

"Vido was confident, had a lot of men. Now he's lost the home-field advantage. If we keep up the pressure, no way he's getting out of here alive."

"Shit, I understand but damn, I don't want you finishing what the Collectors almost succeeded in doing two years ago! Am I clear?"

"Crystal, but I'm here to make sure Vido swallows a goddamned bullet."

"You and me both," she muttered as she made her way through the thick oily smoke, quickly taking out the two Blue Suns who were trying to sneak up on the group.

"Yeah, what was that about, anyway?" Zaeed asked.

"Not now, Massani. If you really want the fucker dead, standing here and waxing poetic about my past sure as hell ain't the way to do it."

"Shepard's right. We'd better get moving," Jack interrupted.

"Yeah, yeah," Zaeed grumbled, following behind the two women. As one of the doors slid open and the group was about to pass through, they stopped at the sound of shouting from above.

"Please help us! We can't get to the gas valves to turn them off and we're trapped! Save us!" a frantic man yelled from the catwalk.

"Sorry, got bigger fish to fry. Good luck," Vali waved, disappearing on the other side of the door as it shut behind him, blocking out the man's cries of distress.

The run through the facility was quick and easy - until they got to the last room. It was also there that Santiago tried to sway her one last time as they picked off his men, one by one.

"C'mon, sweetheart. What can an old man like Zaeed do for such a wild thing as you? There's only one man who can handle you and that's me. You know that."

Vali snarled at the voice that echoed through the room, her anger evident as she rolled around a corner, sighted down a target with her sniper rifle, and tore a hole right through his head.

"You know I'm the only man who can make you cry and moan, cause that little hitch in your breath when I touch you just right. Just leave the bastard and let me take care of him. I'll make it all up to you, I promise, baby!"

"Fuck. You." she spat, tossing an Incinerate at the YMIR mech that was now barreling down on them.

"Bastard sure has a hard-on for you," Zaeed grumbled.

"Yeah, sounds like he's ready to just whip it out right now and take you no matter who's watching," Jack snickered.

"Shut the fuck up," Vali muttered, breathing a sigh of relief when the heavy mech finally went down.

"Should I be worried, Shepard? Gonna try to hand me over to that bastard?" Zaeed asked, his gaze laser sharp as he looked at the woman.

"Let's just get this shit over with," she snapped, her body taut with tension as she strode toward the door that led to the landing pad outside.

"You'd better not fuck with me, girl," Massani growled at her back.

Her responding snarl sent shivers down the spines of both her companions as the door slid open to reveal Vido limping toward the waiting helicopter. As they stepped outside, Zaeed took aim and sent a bullet ricocheting off of a nearby railing. Santiago turned around and looked at the group, his eyes fixated on Vali instead of Massani. While his attention was elsewhere, Zaeed took aim and fired, plugging a bullet into Vido's leg which caused the man to crumple to the ground.

"Baby, please. You know it was nothing personal. Just business, I swear! The men were just getting a bit nervous having someone around who wasn't one of us! I loved you, Selene!" he begged.

"Doesn't matter now, does it? You're on the wrong end of a gun barrel, sweetheart," her smile was frosty as she watched him bleed out in front of her.

"Zaeed, help me out here, will ya?" Vido asked, switching tactics. "It was twenty years ago! Look at you, I did you a favor! I'm gonna die here, man! Do something! "

Catching motion from the corner of her eye, Vali turned to Zaeed and held up her hand, stalling whatever it was he was planning to do. Taking a few steps forward, she crouched down in front of Vido, tilting his face toward hers as she looked down at him.

"You fucked up, Vido. I did too, in a way, letting my emotions rule me while on a job. Ever wonder how it was that your top six lieutenants disappeared on you? That was payback for trying to take over Eclipse territory," she whispered, low enough that only the man in front of her could hear.

"You… you were Eclipse?"

"Yeah, I was fucking Eclipse. Downside is, I fell for your sorry ass and didn't carry out the last job which was to take you out. I paid for it, though, when you turned me over to the fucking cops. Guess it came back to bite you in the ass as well, since they're the ones who helped turn me into what I am today, big assed hero Commander Shepard. You lost something good that day, sweetheart," she said softly, her fingers tightening on his jaw as she took his lips in one last heated kiss.

"Fuck, I missed the taste of your smart mouth," he groaned, his teeth scraping over her bottom lip.

"Figured I'd give you something good to think about during your last moments alive," she smirked, nodding to Zaeed as she straightened and walked over to her merry band of misfits.

"Fry you sonuvabitch," Zaeed snarled, ejecting, then tossing an overheated heat sink into a pool of fuel that had spread around the other merc's prone body.

"Selene! Seleeeeene!" Vido cried out as the flames overtook his body. None of them looked back as they approached the Kodiak, vaulting inside the vehicle as it took off before the last explosion shook the refinery, taking out a good portion of the land around it.

oOoOo

"What the fuck was that all about, Shepard?" Zaeed ordered, grabbing hold of her arm as she stormed into the loft.

"Get. Your. Hands. Off. Me." she growled in response.

"Not until you tell me what the fuck just happened down there, _Selene_."

"Fine, you wanna know what happened? Then sit your decrepit ass down on that fucking couch and let go of me."

"Looks like you got a thing for us old men, so I'd watch who you call decrepit, bitch."

"When I want a taste of your wrinkle dick, I'll let you know. Until then, either sit down and shut the fuck up or get the hell out of my room," she barked.

"At least you didn't sell me out down there. Appreciate it," he mumbled.

"You're a part of my team. I had no reason to sell you out and every reason to want to see that asshole dead, just as you."

"Tell me," he said, gentling his tone. Vali sighed and stood with her back toward him, watching the fish swim lazily around in the fish tank in front of her.

"You already know, I'm sure, that I was one of the few survivors from the Batarian attack on Mindoir. What you don't know is that it was Eclipse mercs who saved my ass, not the Alliance. They trained me, they honed my skills, they turned me into the cold-hearted killer you see in front of you."

"Wait, you're Eclipse?" he interrupted.

"_Was_ Eclipse. Thanks to Vido, they think I betrayed them and became a Blue Sun so they're not exactly happy with me either. I'd never join that fucking group - damned Batarians around every corner."

"Go on."

"Vido started encroaching on Eclipse territory. I was the only human female they had in their ranks who was young enough to catch his notice. I was sent in to infiltrate the Suns, get nice 'n close to the bastard, and take him and his top men out. Got the six but fell for the slimy ass and didn't have the fucking stones to take him out too."

"Who were the six?" he asked, his voice quiet.

"Ian Campbell, Donall MacPherson, Jason Hudson, Mario Vargas, Leto Gascard, and some guy with a Middle Eastern name I couldn't pronounce on a good day."

"Those are the bastards who held me down," Zaeed murmured.

"Yeah? Well they're dead. Either way, I fell for the fucker. Was by his side for two fucking years while I did my job. Might not have been able to take him out but I did send off intel to my superiors so they knew pretty much every damned movement the Suns made. Now that I look back on it, I didn't love the bastard, just what he did to me. Eclipse didn't know it but he was the first man I ever fucked and when you put a 17 year old virgin with an experienced older man who knows what he's doing, she can get addicted to the sex pretty fucking quick. He was right, though, the shit he said in the warehouse. Even Kaidan wasn't able to touch me the way he had," she sighed softly, her shoulders slumping slightly with embarrassment.

"That little bastard's just too young to know how to truly please a woman," Zaeed growled in her ear, startling her with his closeness. Her heart tripped in her chest as his hands slid over the bare expanse of her belly, the warmth of his skin and the scrape of the calluses on his fingertips causing her nerves to tingle.

"A-Anyway, one of his 'gifts' to me when I turned 19 was to invite me into the Suns, to stand beside him as an equal. I turned him down. He asked again with the same answer. The third time he said that if I didn't give him what he wanted, the consequences would be dire. I still said no - ain't no way I'm joinin' up with a merc group that hires Batarians. Next thing I know, I'm being fingered for a Blue Sun's job that went wrong and charged with the death of two civilians. Due to my lack of criminal history the cops told me I could either go to jail or join the Alliance and learn how to be a 'productive member of society'. Fuck yeah, I joined. At least there I knew I'd have a chance at killing more Batarians, and if that asshole crossed my path, a possibility of getting him back for betraying me."

"Shit, no wonder you wanted the bastard dead. So… did he turn you off of being with us wrinkle dicks, as you called mine earlier?" his breath was warm, his laugh raspy, in her ear.

"Depends on if it's actually wrinkled or not," she huffed out her response, grinning at him crookedly through their reflection in the fish tank.

"You tell me," he ordered, his teeth scraping briefly over her earlobe before he turned her to face him, one of his hands grabbing hers and shoving it down the front of his trousers. Her hand wrapped around hot, smooth steel. Her lids grew heavy and she sucked her lower lip in between her teeth as she focused her attention on the throbbing member in her hand. The nails of her other hand dug into the nape of Zaeed's neck, using it to hold her upright as her body grew languid from the liquid heat that infused her.

"Goddamn, bitch," the merc hissed, mashing his lips down on top of hers and forcing them open to slide his tongue into her eager mouth. Her whimper as he slid his hands up and under her vest spurred him on and he began to quickly divest her of her armor, undoing the releases to her arm plating and tossing it off to the side before attacking the clasps that held the vest together. The moment she was free of the leather top, he broke the kiss and lifted her up so he could take a nipple into his mouth. Releasing her grip from his cock, she wrapped her legs around his waist and held on for dear life, her cries echoing throughout the room as he alternated between her nipples, lavishing them with equal attention.

He grinned around his mouthful at the way she rotated her hips against his, biting down against the tight bud at the exact moment she slammed her hips against his, feeling her convulse in his arms. As she slid bonelessly down the length of his body, Vali stared up at Zaeed with a mixture of dazed awe on her face.

"EDI… l-lock the doors from any possible intrusion," Vali ordered, her voice trembling.

"Understood, Shepard. Logging you out," the AI replied, the console turning from green to red.

"I'll bet Vido wasn't able to do that to you, was he?" Zaeed asked, the look in his eye feral and possessive.

"N-No, he wasn't," she replied, still unsteady.

"Good."

With quick and nimble fingers, he removed the rest of her armor then picked her up and tossed her on the bed. Stalking over toward her, he quickly stripped himself, feeling heat pooling in his groin at the way she licked her lips while watching him.

"Get on your hands and knees, sweetheart," he rumbled as he crawled on the bed. Her breath catching, she did as she was ordered. Her body shivered in anticipation, tightening as she felt his hands running from her shoulders down her spine to her waist, and then down to her thighs where he gripped them and opened them wider. She bowed back toward him as he filled her with one hard stroke, screaming out his name at the delicious feel of him stretching her insides.

"God, you're so fucking tight. Almost like Cerberus gave you your virginity back just for me," he gasped, one hand gripping her hip tight as he pulled her back to sit on him, the other wrapping itself in her hair. He rested his chin on her shoulder as he watched her pinch and roll her nipples between her fingers before sliding one of her hands down to play with her clit as he thrust himself in and out of her tight channel. Rolling his hips, he hit a spot that made her quiver, a broken moan hitching out of her throat as she pressed back tighter against him.

"Yes, that's it, Vali. Just like that," he rasped as she matched her rhythm to his. He let go of her hip to slide his fingers in with hers where she was tugging and rubbing the bundle of nerves between her legs, groaning at how wet she was and how much of her essence was coating his fingers. Keeping a tight grip on her hair, he fastened his mouth on her neck and sucked hard, leaving his mark along with those of his teeth along the olive toned expanse of skin where it couldn't be hidden by any uniform.

"You're mine now, Shepard, and I've made it so everyone will know," he growled, nipping at the skin of her shoulder.

"Z-Zaeed," she crooned his name as she spasmed around him, her body milking his manhood.

"Fuck," he groaned, spilling himself deep inside her. He collapsed on the bed, bringing her with him to fall on top of his well toned body.

"Goddamn," she shuddered.

"Got that right."

"Staying or going, Massani?" she gasped, small aftershocks still rippling through her body.

"What the fuck do you think?" he laughed, reaching down to pull the covers over both of them. Smirking at him, she rolled over on her side and tucked her hand beneath her cheek. Reaching out, he grabbed her and pulled her up against him, wrapping his body around hers as they slipped into sleep.


	4. Chapter 3

Omega was her kind of place. Dark and seedy with the sounds of bodies slapping together in some hidden corner where a john took pleasure with his choice of whore. The unmistakable sweet smell of one of the more popular drugs wafted past her nose and Vali inhaled, enjoying the light tingle the contact buzz gave her.

Vali had turned down Aria's invitation to join her at Afterlife, wanting instead to be alone while she drank herself into a stupor. While the bartenders at the little dive she had found didn't have a hard on for humans, unlike the now dead batarian in Aria's club, drinking oneself senseless was not a smart thing to do either. Vali didn't care. She had too much on her mind, and even blind drunk she could take on a raging krogan and come out on top.

Today was her birthday. So far it had been spent with her being made to feel as if she were a mental defective. She had accidentally walked in on Miranda and the Illusive Man discussing whether or not to go through with the insertion of a control chip as they believed the Lazarus Project had gone incredibly wrong. To make matters worse, she had received a troubling letter from Lieutenant Girard in regards to an issue she had assisted him with a couple of years back on the Citadel. The date also coincided with the attack on Mindoir. Her day had just gone to shit within the first few hours of waking up.

"Hit me with another, sweetpea," she said to the salarian manning the bar, sliding her glass over toward him.

"How you're still upright is beyond me. You sure about this?" the bartender asked.

"If I wasn't sure, I wouldn't've ordered another one. Do I sound fucked up to you?" Vali growled, baring her teeth.

"Okay! Okay! Another drink coming right up!"

"Finally," she grumbled, her hand clenching around the glass the moment it was set within her grasp. Her movements were surprisingly fluid and graceful as she slipped around the other patrons to a booth in the back.

"Bartender knows what I'm drinkin'. Tell 'im to keep 'em coming until I pass out," Vali muttered to a passing waitress.

"Yes ma'am," the asari nodded to her. Vali curled up on the worn, yet plush, seat, pulling her knees up to her chest as she nursed her drink.

* * *

><p>"Where's the commander?" Miranda barked at Joker.<p>

"I dunno," he replied, keeping his eyes focused forward on the console.

"Don't lie to me."

"Seriously, I don't know where she is. Off the ship, more than likely, after your fucking prank with the Illusive Man," he growled. "Your project didn't fail, by the way."

"What the… how the hell did you find out?" Miranda gasped.

"She walked in on the two of you then came tearing over here and told me what was up. You freaks don't get it, do you? The Shepard you have is the real deal, now that she's not bound by damned Alliance protocols."

"Mr. Moreau speaks truly. I have taken the time to study Commander Shepard's history, Operative Lawson, and she is not acting out of character."

"See, even your AI agrees with me so if you actually think to shoot Vali up with some sort of control chip, you'll be lucky if you're still alive by the time she's finished with you," Joker narrowed his eyes up at the curvy brunette.

"Understood, Mr. Moreau," Miranda ground out, her footsteps loud as she strode away.

"So where is she?" Zaeed asked, the moment the Cerberus operative left the cockpit.

"I honestly have no fucking clue," Joker sighed, turning his head to look back at the merc. "With the shit Miranda and the Illusive Man pulled today, as well as the date, she was in a rare mood."

"What's today?"

"Her birthday. Also the day the batarians hit Mindoir. I can guarantee you she ain't somewhere like Afterlife where she'd feel like she had to be social. Probably in a hole in the wall somewhere - a place where she can relax away from crowds."

"Hmm. I got some ideas of where to look."

"Just make sure she doesn't kill too many people before you get her back to the ship," Joker said. "The last time this day came around, there were no fewer than four dead and nine injured in a bar fight that she started, and that was _before_ she got spaced. I'm worried what that shit's done to her on top of all the other crap."

"Sounds like a lot of shit to drown," Zaeed commented, pushing away from the wall and heading toward the bay door. "I'll find Shepard and bring her back in once piece. If she's incited a riot, can't promise there won't be more damage before I get her out of there. My trigger finger's a mite itchy."

"Just bring her back alive, please," Joker requested, his concern evident .

"Got it, flyboy," the merc nodded in the pilot's direction, his mind already filtering through the different bars spread throughout the station as he stepped off the ship.

* * *

><p>"I told you I ain't interested," Vali snarled at the turian trying to climb on top of her, effectively pinning her against the back of the booth.<p>

"I didn't say you had to be interested, gorgeous. I like a woman with fight in her," he leered at her.

"If you don't get your filthy claws off of me, there won't be enough of you left to enjoy anything," she retorted, unholstering her pistol and shoving it in the turian's gut in one swift movement.

"Ooh playing dirty, are we? I think I'm going to have fun with you."

"Say g'night, sweetheart," Vali's grin was feral as she pulled the trigger, growing even wider at the look of shock on the alien's face. "I told you to leave me alone. Some men just don't listen it seems."

The patrons closest to her table stared down at the turian bleeding out on the bench beside the human woman, a few sliding further away from the general area, not wanting to get caught in her line of sight.

"Hey, that was my brother, you bitch!" Another turian yelled while he ran toward her table, his own gun cocked.

"Then he shoulda been taught the meanin' of the words 'not interested' better," Vali replied, pulling the trigger and catching the approaching attacker between the eyes. "Any other takers or can I finish my fuckin' drinkin' in peace?"

"Who the hell do you think you are, human?" One of the krogan patrons asked as he approached her table.

"I'm Commander Fucking Shepard, that's who I am," she growled.

"She's the one who let the Council die!" A salarian customer yelled.

"That's the Butcher of Torfan," wheezed an elderly batarian who made his way near the front of the pack that was starting to surround her table.

"Yeah I let the damned Council eat space dust. I had a choice - let 'em live and take the chance of losin' the Citadel, or let the ships come in and shoot the fuck out of the damned insect ship eatin' the face off the Presidium Tower. And if you wanna call me the Butcher of Torfan, be my guest. I ain't apologizin' for that either. Now, unless y'all wanna find one of my guns shoved up your asses, I suggest you let me drink in peace," Vali yawned, propping her elbows on the table as she looked at the faces staring back at her.

"You're just one woman against all of us. I'd like to see you try," the krogan from earlier snickered. Zaeed stopped as he heard those words then slipped around the crowd to try and get a better assessment of the situation. Coming up behind Vali's booth, the merc counted no less than 27 patrons gathered around. If it were anyone other than the Commander, he'd have calculated the person's ability to get out of the situation alive at 0%. In her case, he figured the others had a life expectancy rate of only the next five minutes.

"Prepare for the ride of your life then, boys," Vali purred, throwing both hands out and letting loose with rippling shockwaves. Her eyes lit up as they flew through the air, leaving her a nice, clear path to the door.

"I think I'll be nice and let y'all live… for now at least," she smirked. Picking her way over the two dead turians, she sauntered toward the door, barely giving Zaeed a glance as he took her arm and guided her out of the establishment.

"I was expectin' more dead bodies with the way Joker was talkin'," Zaeed stated the moment they were clear of the bar. As her buzz wore off, the realities of the day crashed into her and all she did was grunt in response, yanking her arm from his grasp and folding it and the other over her chest.

"Oh I see how it is. I'm good enough to fuck but not good enough to talk to?" he growled, clamping both hands over her arms, pulling her around to stare at him.

"Get your damned hands off me! I came here to fuckin' relax and drown myself, not get goddamned manhandled," she barked, struggling to get out of his grasp.

"Ye daft bitch, drownin' yerself won't help worth a shit," Zaeed sighed, letting her go. Narrowing her eyes at him, she rubbed her upper arms where he had squeezed, trying to remove the sting from them.

"Helps for a little while and that's good enough," she muttered, her steps long and angry as she walked away from him toward the docking bay.

"So what was up with the dead turians?" he asked, following her through the winding alleys that made up the underbelly of Omega.

"One of 'em wouldn't take no for an answer, the other one was just tryin' to avenge his brother."

"Let me guess, he called you a bitch?"

"Got it."

Zaeed scanned the area, picking out landmarks from his previous time spent there, and without any prior warning, yanked Shepard into a dark alcove and down a set of stairs. His fingers were fast as they set the lock on the tiny apartment.

"Time for you to spill."

"What the fuck, Zaeed? You think because I let you have free range with my body and share my bed you have the right to dig into my head? Fuck you! Let me out!" she screamed, her chest heaving as she began to breathe heavily. The tiny space, combined with the alcohol and her inability to break the lock and open the door was pushing her panic buttons.

"Tell me what's going on inside that screwed up little head of yours," he said, though his words held no heat. Almost as if not hearing or seeing him, Vali began pacing the small confines of the room, her hands gripping tightly at her hair.

"Cages. Tiny cages. So much blood and death. Parents, shot dead before my eyes. Most adults, killed. Kids… kids they kept. Me, I was cute. Good money. Gonna sell into the sex trade. Little girl, Talitha. Used to babysit. Saw them shove a control chip right in her head. Did the same to others. Comin' for me. Locked in a cage. Couldn't get out. Grabbed the bars, shook them. Tried to break free. Not me. No! Gotta get away!" she mumbled, her steps quickening as she weaved around the sparse furniture. Her breathing was ragged, almost staccato in nature.

"Batarians comin' closer. Screams all around me as people got chipped. One of the four eyes talkin' about tryin' the merchandise before selling. Leered at me, grabbin' his crotch. Bars rattled in my hands but wouldn't give. Saw blue in the corner of my eye. Group of asari commandos, some salarians, couple of humans… cage opens. Salarian yanks me out. My cage further away from others. Easier to run away. One of the batarians chases us. Handed a pistol, take aim, and shoot. I kill him. None of the others can be saved. I'm taken away…"

Vali's body shuddered and she tried to hold still, her eyes still not focusing on her surroundings as if lost in some nightmare world. Zaeed stares at her in horrified fascination, almost afraid of what will come out of her mouth next.

"On the Citadel. Going after Saren. Lieutenant Girard contacts me, says my help needed. Survivor from Mindoir raid, batarian slave, found. Needs medicated. It's Talitha. I help her. Thought I helped her. Got letter today saying she killed herself. Therapy never worked. It never worked… I'm so fucked. No help for me. Happy birthday, Vali," she ended in a whisper, collapsing to the floor and curling up into a tight ball, rocking her body back and forth.

"Shit," Zaeed sighed, understanding the woman in front of him more, now, than he had before. He crouched down beside her and lay a hand on her shoulder, watching how her hands nervously went between gripping strands of her thick black hair between her fingers and clawing at her knees as she tried to pull them closer to her chest.

"Everything good, everything stable, it leaves me. Not good enough for Kaidan. Am a Cerberus bitch to him now. You'll leave too. So will Joker. And Chakwas. Parents first to go. Inevitable. Everything I need, it disappears."

"I haven't left yet, Shepard," his voice was gruff as he ran a hand over her head. He rubbed his other hand over his heart as he felt part of his defenses crack apart thanks to the woman in front of him.

"You will. Kaidan made me feel close to normal and he left. You do that and more for me. I want you, need you more than I did Kaidan, so you'll leave quicker," her eyes closed and her body shivered then relaxed as she passed out from the emotional overload. Zaeed slid an arm behind her back, another under her knees, and picked her up. With awkward slowness, he keyed in the code to unlock the door and carried her back to the ship.


End file.
